“Bunkie Love”

Basicaly since ive been down, Ive never had a good bunkie until the one I have now. Well, once before, a small, old and wrinkled Mexican guy maxing out on a DUI. My previous bunkie was a horrorshow, but the one Ive now is cool, old biker type, with the potbelly and the long hair and beard. A real life killer. Surprisingly, murderers tend to be the best ones to jail with because theyve been down so long they know how to jail best. 

He’s got a half dozen jailhouse tats, almost all naked girls playing with their theirselves. On his neck, the words “Im ready to die. Are you” are punctuated with a smiley face. Ordinarily, Id be uneasy around anyone crazy enough to have that visibly tattooed, but Im actually learning a lot from him (about prison, mostly).

Over time, we’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. I even told him about the blog, which is something I mostly keep to myself, and he sees me getting letters and messages, especially from women. I tried explaining that for the most part these arent romantic/ sexual relationships. (although when I first started getting messages from random women who’d read my blog, Id send and solicit dirty letters like the typical sex-starved convict, but that got boring.) He still calls me “a paper gigolo”; I dont think he knows what a blog is exactly…

He aske me to get him a woman, even though hes still married with a wife who picks up the phone after all these years. I told him I could prolly get him a penpal. No, he clarified, he wanted someone he could marry when he got out, but it didnt wanna really exchange letters with them.

“So yiu want me to get you an arranged marriage?” I asked, just making sure. “Arent you already married?”

“Yeah but fuck that bitch. I dont think shes been true, ya know? Look, justask any of those girls youre alwaswriting if they have any friends thatd be interested in a real ass motherfucker, a biker, whose about to come home after a long time in the joint.”

Honestly, trying to arrange a marriage thru one of the girls writing me would be hella awkward, so this is me making an indirect classified ad for him to the whole internet…i can provide further details if interested 😉