I’ve been trying to get abs. Partly cuz of vanity but also there’s not much else to do, and you’ve got to have achievable goals. It’s a work in progress.
At the same time, I wish someone told me how hard it was. It’s not like you do a couple hundred sit ups once a week, and you’ve got them. Getting abs is a lifestyle, an everyday commitment (which is why it’s easy to hate on those with six pack abs); plus, you have to watch what you eat.
At chow, you get to choose between a cookie/cake or some kind of fruit, usually an apple. Once or twice a week it’s a banana. Those are the best days.
A year after I started watching my diet, I was headed back to the chow hall with D, saving the banana for the walk back. I unpeeled it and took a bite when D interrupted:
“Woah, woah dude why are you eating it like that? You gotta break it in pieces first before eating it.”
“Wait, are you serious? That’s like some kind of…sign?”
“Yeah,” he explained. “That’s how the freakies signal to each other.
I still don’t know if he was fucking with me, but everything suddenly clicked in place.
Then I remembered a time when I was walking with Capo, a gangbanger in the Cobras, which is basically a bunch of white boys from Flint. You could tell something was wrong with the water just by talking to them, like their moms smoked crack during pregnancy. I don’t know really why I had spun laps with him, except that he was entertaining.
He had one front tooth left, and was always smiling, talking shit.
Making our way around the yard, we walk by everyone coming out of the chow hall, and Capo casually yells at some black guy, who was sheepishly eating a banana by breaking it into small pieces.
“YEAH RIGHT Deucy, show us how you really eat that banana.”
I didn’t know if he was joking or aggressively outing until Deucy smiled and stayed silent, which was enough of an answer. As we walked past, Capo told me that Deucy just got caught fucking in the showers the other night.
The lesson being–watch what you do and how you do it. Someone will be watching.
Easy Trouble 