When the day room first opens in the morning, there are only a few of us in there. Mike, an old white guy, always bitches about the news and whatever else in he can think of. B, the other typist in the unit, prints out the skins for the day. I sit across the room, and type up my writing submissions.
And then there’s Ant, the bearded asshole whose cards stand up all around him on the table. He draws and illustrates homemade cards for the holidays, birthdays, and any other occasion. He’s an one man Hallmark store.
Cards aren’t the only wares for sale. The table he occupies is filled with various clothing items and snacks: sweats, workout gloves, cheesecake slices, hats, etc.
He lists the price of each with an artfully crafted sign.
For someone who has arranged a makeshift storefront, he does little business. The same items sit there for months. Usually, when someone is known as the “hustle man” selling a variety of items, the inventory has a lot of turnover.
At first, I thought, it was because his prices were way too high. Maybe he was giving himself room to negotiate–the listed price was twice as high as the going rate.
The few interactions we had gave the impression of a small-minded person with a scarcity mindset. He cried broke while clawing at every penny he could get his hands on.
But a few months ago, I discovered there’s another, more nefarious reason for his paltry sales. He was on Court TV, and it wasn’t pretty.
Many inmates watch Court TV just to see if someone they know comes on. Unfortunately for Ant, the station broadcasted his case several times in one week, and the details were horrifying.
He and his wife ran a foster home for special needs children. Instead of caring for them, they compelled the kids to perform sexual acts with each other.
Producing child porn with orphaned retards is another level of degradation and evil. He’s a monster.
Inmates predictably responded with disgust, disdain, and animus. Ant faced jeers, violent threats, and “chomo” taunts. If he had still been in Level 2, he would’ve been stabbed immediately. ( Level 1 inmates are less keen to sacrifice their future freedom to teach a chomo a lesson.)
It got so tense and uncomfortable for him, Ant accosted guards, counselors, and sergeants.
“You have to turn the Court channel off,” he pleaded. “Someone’s gonna get hurt.”
Yeah, you.
On TV, he was clean cut and obese. Today, he’s slimmer, with long, untamed hair and a scraggly beard, and pretends to need a cane. He’s trying to disguise himself from whom he used to be. But everyone knows.
The contempt and ridicule he faces on a nearly daily basis almost makes you feel bad for him. Almost.
Unlike most chomos, he’s not meek and accommodating. He behaves like an asshole with a sense of entitlement. He deserves every bit of misfortune that befalls him.
Easy Trouble 